Take Two Tomatoes and Call Me in the Morning....

This isn't any different than the nonsense in ads today about this and that new fruit but it is still amusing as fewer constraints are on the language of quackery.   

I realized after reading many "medical uses of tomato" articles, that in 19th century writing liver ailment meant constipated!  Liver ailment indeed...

The Dr. Bennett mentioned was quite a character.  I have a little pile of articles about the man who seems to have been crack-brained opportunist with a huge ego.

Commenting on the 5th point from the above article I say "what...?".  Malaria? 

And if you aren't tired of hearing about the tomato's virtues, the following article from 1834 goes into the details of a gentleman's bowels.

From the New York Farmer. 

USE OF THE TOMATO FOR QUICKENING THE ACTION OF THE ABDOMINAL VISCERA.

Like most persons of studious or sedentary habits, I often am more or less incommoded, and ray health impaired, by inaction of the stomach and bowels, so as to be under the necessity of resorting to medicine, principally cathartics. In order to enable our readers perfectly to appreciate what I am about to say of a remedy, this state of the bowels is always in some degree accompanied with a sense of straitness of the chest, and besides a general uneasiness, and lassitude, yet with the head ache, or some degree of pain in region of the liver. It seems to me a recurrence of those symptoms that accompany attacks of what is called by my physicians, a liver complaint, to which I have lieen a good deal subject. The appetite instead of being keen becomes imperfect, with a peculiar taste of the mouth, as if something was wanting, and in the functions of digestion, to constitute perfect health, for which cathartics are only a temporary relie, fnot a remedy.

The common Tomato, used in making gravy, at once removes this taste of the mouth; in a little time quickens the action of the liver, and of the bowels, and removes all the above noticed symptoms and feelings. I regard it as an invaluable article of diet, or, if you please, as of medicine, or of medical diatetics. With me it has always been my object of solicitude, to find out such diet, as should supersede the necessity of medicine. Except in pickle, which I cannot use, I eat the Tomato in every imaginable mode of dressing, and find it perfectly adapted to my wants. In the hope of being of some use to others, these facts are stated. The Tomato is of great use to me. It is raised with less trouble than any other vegetable that I have any knowledge of. It was first planted six years ago, drops its own seed into the ground, and has produced bushels, every year since, with no other trouble than once digging the same ground, in spring, and one or two hoeings, on a spot of perhaps six feet square. It makes a good pickle, and is raised with one hundredth part the labor and trouble of an equal quantity of cucumbers. But, one other object remains to he stated. I incline to the opinion, though without having yet fully tried it, that the Tomato may be made into a rich sauce, for meat, and be kept through the year, or from season to season of the fruit.* The gravy, I know, even in the hottest weather of summer, will keep perfectly unchanged for several days, in a common open dish in a pantry; and this I know, because, as my cook does not like the article, I have contrived to keep it over, when she neglects my directions. If properly prepared, and bottled, and well corked, it would certainly keep good, in an ice house, or perhaps in a common cellar, or under water, of a low and uniform temperature. At any rate if found to be as useful to others, as it is to me, it will be quite desirable to find out how it may be best preserved for use. As a pickle kept in brine, or vinegar, 1 could not use it, and I am inclined to think that its good qualities would be much diminished, for any one, by this mode of preservation. It seems to me, that, of all the articles of diet, or medicine, that have come to my knowledge, theTomato acts most directly upon the liver, and thus on the bile. Publish this if you please, and let others try it, and make their own observations. I know that several, persons of my acquaintance have derived a like benefit from the use of it.

Constitutionally predisposed to a torpor of the liver, and the abdominal viscera, I have, through life, been subject to the necessity of using cathartics, until having discovered the good effects of the Tomato.  In all cases, except in such above described, my flow of animal spirits have always been uniform, rather abundant than otherwise, sustaining severe mental effort, even to 12 and 16 hours each 24, for weeks in succession, always without other stimuli than ordinary food and drink. Wine never exhilarates, except us it increases my general health; and ardent spirit always depresses the tone of my mind. How far they may be regarded as peculiarities, I know not, but think proper to stute them, for the sake of a clear understanding, and in a sincere desire to be useful to others. I have never known the effect, even in the slightest degree, of any sort of intoxicating drinks. Health exhilarates, and ailments depress my spirits.—When afflicted with inaction of the bowels, head-ache, a bad taste of the mouth, straitness of the chest, and a dull and painful heaviness of the region of the liver, the whole of these symptoms are removed by Tomato sauce; and the mind, in the course of some few hours, is put into perfect tone, like a new violin. The facts certainly merit a narration, and I can but hope they may be of use to many persons. The true plan of life for men of mind, and especially for men of study, and much mental effort is, so to live, as to have our food supply all that is necessary of medicine. A wise man will soon learn to relish what agrees with his temperament, and reject all else, in food and drink. To which I will only add, that much employment of the mind, particularly in men of slow habits of the body, slow action of the bowels, calls for a larger proportion than they generally use, if temperate men, of liquid food or drink.   (Do you believe this man!??...what a self centered idiot!)